Thursday, May 10, 2007

5 steps to a great accent!

So who speaks Hindi anyways? Not air hostesses, for sure! It is not just a weird thing, it is strange to the point of being intriguing! No matter what airlines it is, Indian or Lufthansa, when the air hostesses make announcements in Hindi, you just cannot help but listen out for the English or German one, because their Hindi is simply un-understandable!I know people from 28 states and 6 UTs in India have 34 different accents while talking in Hindi, and I have heard most of them, coming from Delhi, but this airhostess-kind I have never heard in my life. So here are the 5 steps to get a perfect airhostess accent:1. You must preferably be a non-Indian, otherwise speaking so horrendously might make you seriously fear for your karma and next life!2. You should try to deprive yourself of sleep for atleast 72 hours before attempting to speak with this accent, to get the right kind of lethargic drawl.3. Your aim lies in not being understood by any of the listeners so speak accordingly.4. Try and include ancient pure Hindi words but if you can't remember anything other than the easier, more widely used words, then just say it in English. So its either pure hindi+random english or nothing. No day-to-day language use is allowed that makes you sound like you actually know what you are saying.5. Why are you even looking for a 5th point? Practice makes perfect ! So just go torture someone...and if you succeed, you know you've got the hang of it!Everyone who thinks I've gone nuts for writing this note, it was just the 11 hour journey that is the root cause of all this. That and the lack of a TV around here..!

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